A few days ago, I stood on a deck over a pond at a local park and cried to myself.
A few hours later, I got a job offer.
The past 10 weeks, and the months prior, have been incredible in every sense of the word. We’ve moved to Boston and love LOVE the city – the walk/trainability, the different people, foods, and cultures we see from corner to corner in our little neighborhood pocket, and just doing life together in a slowly more and more organized cute little apartment.
It has also been personally incredibly hard, to the point where it was more of a burden than I even realized until finally breathing after accepting this wonderful job offer. I’ll be working as a Marketing and Communications Specialist for the Boston Convention Marketing Center, which helps market the Boston Convention Center to event planners, as well as marketing other local event venues to the general public!
After Mary and I had the best wedding of all time, I found a new role at Uptown Church, after some time there, we both decided we were open to new opportunities both near and far. So, Mary found the opportunity at Boston University, and I was happy to embark on a new adventure.
At the same time, I embarked on a personal adventure – 12ish weeks of therapy, unpacking some of the childhood that still persisted to my adulthood. I unpacked a lot of the pressure my dad put on me to perform in school and sports, leading to a constant “you suck” voice in my head ever in since then. Don’t get me wrong; Dad loved his family and loved me. But just like every other imperfect person on the planet, i.e. everyone, there were places that left scars that I had to address so that I could move forward. Now, I’m in a much better place where I consciously remind myself that I don’t have to do anything to have my identity in God and the person God created me to be. I can just be; simply be, and everything will work out however it does.
I’m glad the “you suck” voice has been contained, because man, I felt a ton of that these past 10-12 weeks of being unemployed. It’s hard and hellish to be seeking that role, one where I both feel a sense of purpose and am being compensated sustainably, plus finally pulling my financial weight in the family. Most of it was a spiritual and internal battle not to lose hope or become overwhelmed by frustration, sadness, or feelings of inadequacy. I’m so thankful to have my beautiful wife by my side assuring me that it would be ok and that my worth is NEVER defined by a job or paycheck.
So, last Friday, I fired up a praise and worship playlist for the first time in a long time, and I went for a walk. Of course, five minutes into the walk, my dear friend Benjamin Skye texted me asking about a call he got from my now employer, as he was being called as one of my job references. After replying back, a huge wave of hope overcame me (if they’re calling your references, that usually means you got the job as long as your peeps back you up). A worship song was playing in my ears, the chorus crying out ‘I am not alone.’ I knew I was never alone, and God never left me, but I just kinda vulnerably gave in there and told God yeah, I know you’ve been here the whole time, but it’s been really hard to feel that. And so I stood on a little deck over the pond and cried to myself. I walked a little further to a local brewery to file our taxes (y’all filing jointly is BOMB highly recommend), and then after leaving, I returned a voicemail and got the job offer.
My first day is April 11, and I can’t wait to get started. I would love prayers of protection for my family and me, prayers of warding off micromanagement, borderline verbal abuse, and a married-to-work environment. I believe my new team, from executive director down, believes strongly in family-first and healthy work-life balance. Still, prayer for those values to hold true would be lovely and appreciated by the Derretts in Boston. Love y’all!