Does discrimination really still exist in the 21st century?
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Myself, Doug, and―which of the Wheaton guys were in town, Doug?―were just going for the spectacle of it all.
A few hometown friends of his were in Dallas a few years back, and we were going to take them to Uptown just to show them the sights. We settled on an establishment, Trophy Room, for a drink and the people watching.
We got to the ID check, and the bouncer told me, “No.”
“Your shoes aren’t business casual. Either they’ve got to be business casual, or you have to be in costume for Halloween.”
Odd, I thought, but whatever. Guess we couldn’t go in. In fairness, I had on a pair of (very) white Air Force Ones with a black Nike swoosh, not business casual.
Then a white man walked out. Under Armour sneakers, no Halloween costume. Every time I’ve checked, Under Armour does not make shoes anywhere near “business casual.”
If you are a person of color, I have a feeling you know where this is going, where we’ve been, and how we’ve gotten here.
Doug wasn’t having it. He called out the bouncer for what he believed was discrimination.
“I probably have more black friends than you, you f*****g retard!”
I still remember the bouncer’s words and the way he said them to Doug. I played it cool, said all right, no problem man, and we left.
I later found out that Trophy Room has a history of allegations of racism against Black people with “dress code violations.” Read that article here.
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This past weekend, I thought about this unfortunate memory during Allison Jean’s powerful sermon in our series Already One, where we’re speaking out on issues of race, reconciliation, and learning how to truly love others as one body in Christ.
Allison spoke on John, chapter 4, where Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well. Yes, those who passed Sunday School recognize this as the living water passage. But Allison went deeper into the nuance of the situation, recognizing that Samaritans were viewed very unfavorably by Jews. Jesus crossed gender, religious, political, and ethnic boundaries to reach out to this woman and ask her for a drink of water.
Further, Jesus knows that she has been with several men, none her husband, and names that fact without passing judgement or condemnation. We were later asked, who are the Samaritans in our lives, the ones we don’t bother to get to know because we have judged them to be unworthy or degenerate? Republicans, Democrats, other worldviews or religions? And we were challenged to open our hearts and love those whom we most struggle to love.
Referenced in this sermon was a clip from this week’s video in our small group curriculum, which goes along with the sermon series. Pastor Kim Rankin Meyers talks with her friend, Dr. Leal Melville.
In this snippet, we hear about Dr. Melville’s son, a student at Dartmouth University at the time of the story, being pulled over with friends on the way to a haircut.
They explain to the officer that they’re going to get a haircut. He told them that was a lie, and he would let them sit there at the side of the road until they decided to tell the truth. Eventually they were released.
Dr. Melville was angry in so many ways―that it happened, that she had explained to her son not to travel in a vehicle with four Black people and nobody white or another race.
She added, “The other thing I’d like to highlight is, so often I don’t share those things that happen in my life because I realize people don’t have a place to put them. They want to say, ‘Oh you know, I bet there’s more to it than that. The officer must have been having a bad day, or I bet they were going faster than they think they were. Always want to explain it away. …
… It is not my job to make the hearer of my story comfortable. It is only my job to share the story. And I knew you (Kim) could hear it, and so I knew I could share it.”
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It hurts, because in so many of these stories, we as people of color know it’s there. When Dr. Melville told the story, I felt it personally, because I knew that could have been me, or that could be a future child of mine.
But, you may notice the Dallas Morning News article I attached is an opinion piece. Discrimination, AND/OR BIASES, WHICH WE ALL HAVE, EVEN THOSE WHO SAY WE’RE NOT RACIST BECAUSE WE DON’T USE THE N-WORD OR ENDORSE SEGREGATION, these things happen, and often it’s not in a way we can prove in the moment as news. It ends up “hearsay” and “allegations,” labeled an “opinion” that one may take the liberty of dismissing with little thought.
After being turned away from the bar, I immediately started grasping for straws to produce some kind of evidence. The only thing I could think of, and please don’t laugh, was asking a white man who walked out of the bar if I could photograph his not-business-casual sneakers.
I explained what happened, and he said, “No, you’re being weird.” A guy standing next to him confirmed, “Yeah man, you’re being weird.” In that moment I felt small, less than human, and helpless. This would be another case of discrimination and bias that would be relegated to an opinion piece.
On Sunday, the last song we sang had a chorus of “Oh what can take away my hallelujah?” And while I know we always can and should praise God for unending love and grace, I have to admit that that moment with Doug and friends, the retrospection in the days after, and the reflection on it now, are moments that get pretty close to silencing my hallelujah, if just for a moment.
For my white friends and family, I’m glad you have the privilege of never feeling that way due to skin color, but I hope you can understand this feeling that people of color often can only explain in a story that can’t be proved. We are called to be like Jesus with the Samaritan woman, never shying from truth, but also never shying from listening and loving instead of assuming and stereotyping. Much love to you all.
Watch Sermon
Watch Small Group video (Jan 31 | Freedom and Power)