My stomach was in nervous knots yesterday afternoon.
I had a church small group meeting later that evening, and I was really anxious to the point of not having an appetite for dinner.
I was anxious thinking ahead to the conversations our group might have. I really had no idea how a conversation on race would go, or how it would start. In this small group, I am the only person of color.
We met and circled up (in a socially distanced manner) in a little lawn at a local shopping center.
A little while passed before I heard six words from a group member across the lawn.
“Chris, I liked your Facebook post.”
This person in the group was sincerely acknowledging to me the post I wrote on Sunday. Six words. Those six words opened the door. I thanked them (so grateful for that wife and husband in our group!) and started talking and sharing. People asked questions among the group. All attention shifted to the conversation; we were growing and learning together.
Later I cried a little bit in front of my group.
While explaining how a simple invitation to conversation means the world to us, I began to say another thank you to the person who said those six words to me, but I couldn’t get through it without getting choked up.
Having to start the conversation ourselves can be hard. When someone instead opens the door for us, a world of burden is lifted from our shoulders every single time.
I experienced similar relief Tuesday morning during staff (virtual) chapel. During the ‘joys and concerns’ portion at the beginning, someone not of color brought up the racial unrest we’re all working through. It was great that a person of color didn’t have to open their own door.
Please do not be afraid about getting the words right. “I am here and I am listening” is infinitely greater than remaining silent. “I liked your Facebook post” worked just the same! Then just listen for whenever your friend is ready to share. Open the door and we’ll walk through with you. Much love to you all.